On Releasing: For The Love of Money

I wrote a fear I needed to face in my prayer journal.

“I am really afraid I will not be able to finically care for myself and live the life I desire.”

This has been a pervading fear that continues to show up in the subtlest of ways. I tend to hang on to the old and worn out and have been a lover of ‘hand me downs’ since I was child.

This morning, I threw out a fork I avoid using but keep in my silverware drawer just in case I run out of forks. Somewhere I learned 6 forks is not enough for one person.

My relationship with money reflects my relationship with love. In this 3-D world we live in, love and money can represent safety, security, stability, protection, and choice.

A few hours after I threw out the fork, one of my coaches at the gym said to me, “Carmen, I can’t tell you what to do with your money. It’s your money. But it may be time to invest in new boxing gloves.”

My blue Everlast boxing gloves are over 10 years old and have made 5 home moves with me.

The gloves made to protect me are not doing their job anymore. The velcro is lose and comes undone mid punch. The gloves made for stability are preventing me from reaching my full range of power and strength. And for some reason, the girl who knows God is ommnipresent believed she was the only one who could see her raggedy a** gloves.

My darling, your slip is showing.

The relationship you want and desire, will require emotional, physical, and energetic attention and investment. And before or as I experience this relationship, I must make room for more love by releasing worn out beliefs and fears made to protect me. It’s time invest in love like it’s time to invest in new boxing gloves. Not because you and your lover are in a fight but because your lover is fighting for you.

“Robert Pruitt’s portrait of Venus Williams.’My hope,’ he said, ‘is that the duality of the portrait gives us this sense of a person looking back at themselves, considering where they came from and where they’re going.’” National Portrait Gallery, Smithsonian Institution. A caption published on 11/1/22 in the New York Times. Behind 3 Champions’ Smithsonian Portraits. These prayers are released at 11:22pm. Love notes from our people.

dear lover,

as we walk alongside one another may we

demonstrate lovingkindness, generosity, and joy

through our beliefs about love and money

when we invest in love

money returns

when we release money

love returns.

and so it is.

Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13: 7-8a.

as love,